What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
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