How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
"Time to wine down."
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
An owner of a pizza shop has just been found dead covered with pineapple, ham, mushrooms, and pepperoni. Word is that he topped himself.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Why shouldn't you shoot pool using a pickle?
Because you'll find the cue cumbersome.
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
Go to BabaMail
