Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
A strawberry will never help another strawberry because they tend to always get into jams.
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
"I need to re-wine my life."
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
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