Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
The soup that she cooks is so thick that the kitchen would go around when she stirs it.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What’s an orange’s favourite animal? An orange-utan.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
Go to BabaMail
