What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
When you accidentally step on a cheerio, you become a cereal killer.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
How did the Iceland repel the bananas attack? By freezing them
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
"You can't sip with us."
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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