A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
When the peanut eating diet patient gained weight he went to his doctor to complain. The doctor asked him what he had been eating. The patient said he was eating what his doctor recommended, a nut-rious diet.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
Go to BabaMail
