The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
"Be kind, re-wine."
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
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