I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
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