So yesterday I saw a bottle of ketchup steal a bottle of mustard
'Twas saucepicious
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
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