Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
I like you a latke!
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:
"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."
He was not impressed.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
"You can't sip with us."
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
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