Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
"Great minds drink alike."
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
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