The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
"Sip, sip hooray."
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
You know what they say about ice cream parents?
They play flavorites.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
This foundation is rock salad.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
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