What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
We all know that the New England Patriots have their soup in the Super Bowl.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Why did the banana fail his driving test? He kept peeling out.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What is a vampire who loves eating strawberry jam called? A jampire.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
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