What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What a spud muffin.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What do you give to a sick lemon?
lemonaid.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
"Back that glass up."
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
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