Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
"Sip happens."
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
"Partners in wine."
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
“Now he’s a waterfelon.”
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
Why did the hummus blush?
Because it saw a chickpea!
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
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