All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
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