The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
"I make pour decisions."
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
"It's wine o'clock."
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
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