Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What's the difference between a bipolar person and a loft full of lemons?
One's a bit erratic and the other's a bitter attic.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
Everybody romaine calm.
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
Go to BabaMail
