What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I hope for world peas.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
"Say you'll be wine."
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
"Love the wine you're with."
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
Go to BabaMail
