What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
HELP! It's a taco emergency!
Dial 9 Juan Juan!
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
"I mead more wine."
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
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