Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What happened to the men who lost their lettuce?
I don't know, but apparently they lost their heads.
I just caught a walking pear tree...
In my Pear Ent trap.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
The fruit started to stutter as it was suffering from peach deterioration.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
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