Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are on the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
"Sip, sip hooray."
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
"Say you'll be wine."
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
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