Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
"Sip, sip hooray."
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
"I make pour decisions."
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living.
I told him he needs to grow a pear.
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
I love you a tot!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
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