What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
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