What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
I lost 90 pounds in 30 days on the juice diet
Every day I bought one juice for 3 pounds.
"No wine left behind."
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
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