When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
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