What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
How many tacos can an octopus eat?
Ten tacos.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
I just caught a walking pear tree...
In my Pear Ent trap.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
"Read between the wines."
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
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