One should always practice what they peach.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
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