What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
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