You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Go to BabaMail
