I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder nut milk.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
After the death of his wife a few years, the pineapple stands on the graveyard and says “I pine for you, sweetheart!”
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
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