What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
You’re wine in a million.
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
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