Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
What do you give to a sick lemon?
lemonaid.
This foundation is rock salad.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
"No wine left behind."
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
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