What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
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