What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
"You had me at merlot."
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
The healthy soup recipe was suggested to us by the nutritionist. It soup-erseded the old unhealthy creamy soup we used to have for dinner.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
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