Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
"I mead more wine."
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
Go to BabaMail
