What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
"Partners in wine."
This foundation is rock salad.
What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
"You can't sip with us."
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
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