Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
"You're the wine that I want."
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
Why did the banana fail his driving test? He kept peeling out.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
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