Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
One should always practice what they peach.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
What did the banana say to the monkey? Nothing, bananas can't talk!
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
"Time to wine down."
"You can't sip with us."
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
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