What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
One of the most courageous souls in the world is anybody who looks at a pineapple and thinks that “I bet I would eat it.”
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
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