What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
HELP! It's a taco emergency!
Dial 9 Juan Juan!
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
Wondering about a peach's favorite sci-fi novel? It's 'When You Peach Me'.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
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