Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
This foundation is rock salad.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
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