What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
What do you call two pears?
A pair.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
We all know that the New England Patriots have their soup in the Super Bowl.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
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