Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
One day, a young weasel went to the bar. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
Go to BabaMail
