How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
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