Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.