How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
You knead me in your loaf.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
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