Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
You knead me in your loaf.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”