What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
"Sip, sip hooray."
"You can't sip with us."
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
"Adulting makes me wine."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
"Read between the wines."
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
"Great minds drink alike."
"Time to wine down."
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
"I need to re-wine my life."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
"I mead more wine."
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"Rosé all day."
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.