I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
"Sip happens."
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"Great minds drink alike."
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Partners in wine."
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"Rosé all day."
"You had me at merlot."
"Love the wine you're with."
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
You’re wine in a million.
"Adulting makes me wine."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
"I make pour decisions."
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
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