Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
"Here for the right riesling."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
"You had me at merlot."
"On cloud wine."
"Time to wine down."
"Alcohol you later."
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
"I make pour decisions."
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"Be kind, re-wine."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"Back that glass up."
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
"I mead more wine."
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
"It's wine o'clock."
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
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