Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
You’re wine in a million.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"I need to re-wine my life."
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
"Rosé all day."
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Back that glass up."
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"You're the wine that I want."
"Partners in wine."
"Love the wine you're with."
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"Be kind, re-wine."
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
"Say you'll be wine."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
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