Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
I yam what I yam.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Everybody romaine calm.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
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