What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
I love you from my head tomato
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Time to celery-brate.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
I think therefore I yam.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Keep calm and carrot on.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
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