I love you from my head tomato
I think therefore I yam.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Keep calm and carrot on.
Everybody romaine calm.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Time to celery-brate.
This foundation is rock salad.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
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