If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
I like you a latke!
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
We’re a perfect mash.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
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