“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Potato puns are a-peeling.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
I love you a tot!
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
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