Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
I like you a latke!
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
I love you a tot!
We’re a perfect mash.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
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