“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
I love you a tot!
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
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