What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
I love you a tot!
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
We’re a perfect mash.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
I like you a latke!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.