If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill'em in.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
Why shouldn't you shoot pool using a pickle?
Because you'll find the cue cumbersome.
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
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