"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
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