Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What’s an orange’s favourite animal? An orange-utan.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
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