What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.