Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder nut milk.
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
The farmer went nuts because he was told it’s more profitable that way compared to other crops.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
Go to BabaMail
