What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
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