What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
I used to work at a nut farm
The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
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