Two peanuts were walking down the road but only one was attacked. They suspect the reason was the other was unsalted.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Walnut.
Walnut who?
I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.