What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
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