Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.