What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.