What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
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