What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
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