What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
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