What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
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