What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
Pizza: the only time top-less isn't fun
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
The farmer went nuts because he was told it’s more profitable that way compared to other crops.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
How did the Iceland repel the bananas attack? By freezing them
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
"Alcohol you later."
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
I think therefore I yam.
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
I love you from my head tomato
What is a monster's favorite food? Ghoul scout cookies.
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
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