When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Go to BabaMail
