Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
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