Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
"Rosé all day."
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
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