What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
I love you a tot!
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
I think therefore I yam.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
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