Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What do French cherry parents say to their little cherries at home? You are mon cherry.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
“Now he’s a waterfelon.”
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:
"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."
He was not impressed.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
Go to BabaMail
