What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
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