Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
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