What happened to the men who lost their lettuce?
I don't know, but apparently they lost their heads.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
"Great minds drink alike."
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque? A souped up car.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom?
He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn't have mushroom on its schedule.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are on the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
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