How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
The fruit started to stutter as it was suffering from peach deterioration.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
"Time to wine down."
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Why did the hummus blush?
Because it saw a chickpea!
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
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