Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
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