My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
You can never make a crumble with just 3.14 strawberries because that would make a pi.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
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