Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:
"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."
He was not impressed.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
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