What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
One should always practice what they peach.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
HELP! It's a taco emergency!
Dial 9 Juan Juan!
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
What are pig criminals known for? Pigpockets.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
I hear Jake finally broke up with his crazy grocer girlfriend; never could tell water problem was.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
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