Predictive Text
It's the scurge of the hummus rice.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”
…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
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