Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What do we get when we mix an iPhone and a Christmas tree? A pine – apple!
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Go to BabaMail
