What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
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