Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
"Love the wine you're with."
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I think therefore I yam.
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