Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
"I need to re-wine my life."
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
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