When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
"You can't sip with us."
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
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