"You can't sip with us."
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
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