What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
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